What is Impostor Syndrome (I.S.)?
According to Wikipedia, the concept describes individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
Basically, this is an irrational feeling that can affect our confidence in our abilities, even though we have the evidence that we are competent.
One of the core elements of this issue is confidence but that doesn’t equate to a total lack of confidence. You might presume that people with a constant fear of being exposed as a fraud would be unsuccessful.
The fact of the matter is that many high achievers still suffer from a certain level of belief that they are inadequate and incompetent, even though they have evidence to the contrary.
I am not a medical practitioner but as someone that has experienced various levels of Impostor syndrome (I.S.) for over fifty years, I would like to share with you some of the techniques that have worked for me.
1. Acknowledge Every Little Success
If one of the key elements of Impostor Syndrome is a lack of confidence, the best way to boost your confidence is to record your own successes.
When we are first born we have so much to learn, including the basics such as walking and talking. As adults, we take for granted a lot of the skills that we have achieved since birth.
Reviewing your daily successes and acknowledging your skills can start to build a base for your confidence
You can log your successes in a journal, but I would suggest that when you first start acknowledging your successes, there will be a lot to write.
Start by congratulating yourself with little daily successes, such as:
- I have just made a cup of coffee because I have the skills to do so.
- I have just knotted my shoe laces because I have the skills to do so.
- I have just used the TV remote control because I have the skills to do so.
- I have just opened a can with a can opener because I have the skills to do so.
- I have just attached a document to an email because I have the skills to do so.
- I have just opened an App on my phone because I have the skills to do so.
I know these simple skills might seem trivial at first but at some stage in your life you didn’t have these skills, so celebrate your achievements. Once you have focused on the smaller achievements for a day or two (or however long you choose), you can start to appreciate your larger achievements.
2. Practice Affirmation Statements
Positive Affirmation statements (usually shortened to either “Positive Affirmations” or just “Affirmations”) are widely accepted in the fields of mental health, to foster positive thoughts and reprogram your brain, to help you overcome negative thoughts.
The statements in the first technique are a type of affirmation. To maximize your results from affirmations here are a few recommendations:
- Choose one negative thought (at a time) about yourself and write down the opposite.
- Write the affirmation in the present tense (e.g. “I am a successful author”).
- Make each affirmations short and easy to remember.
- Limit your number of daily affirmations. Repetition is the key, so repeating the same affirmations over time will have more effect. You can always rotate your affirmations after a set time.
- Write your affirmations down and keep them handy. We don’t always carry a pen and paper with us but as it is rare that we are without our phones, you can keep a copy of your affirmations on your phone.
3. Set Your Own Standards
Feeling like an impostor is partly because you are grading yourself against a set of standards.
Although a lot of successful people may say that they are driven by their own standards, those standards have not come out of thin air. Like a lot of our core traits, our standards are formed through our experiences and circumstances. Peer pressure and the need to fit in can play a big part in what we try to achieve and contribute to our own standards being formed.
If you identify what your standards are it is a lot easier to understand if they are being achieved.
By practicing a little self-examination, you can determine what success really looks like to you. Ignore the online Ads showing people in front of yachts, mansions, and other expensive toys, determine what you are trying to achieve and keep that benchmark in the front of your mind.
4. Accept your Learnings
Some people may frame their learnings as failures, but they are only failures if they don’t learn from them.
When we first learned to walk as a child we may have stumbled a few times, but we didn’t stop trying to walk just because we faltered, we adjusted how we walked.
Impostor Syndrome can be particularly present when you try something new, as there are lots of new learnings.
Choose to accept that life will not always be a smooth path. For any setbacks see them as learnings rather than dwelling on their initial results.
Look at what didn’t work and adjust your approach the next time.
5. Embrace the 80/20 Rule
One of the reasons that we feel like a fraud is that we try to excel at everything.
The 80 /20 rule (also known as Pareto’s Principle) assumes that in most situations, 80% of the results come from 20% of the activities.
This means that there is a good chance that a large percentage of our activities may not produce our desired results. Bearing that in mind realize that it doesn’t make you a failure not to achieve 100%.
Even though I am not a baseball player or a fan, one thing that has always amazed me is batting average statistics.
- Batting averages are roughly the number of hits of the ball that a batter achieves (as calculated) out of 1000 attempts.
- The highest batting average for a Major League Baseball player is 366 (366 out of 1000 attempts).
- I think they choose 1000 because if we look at that as a percentage of 100, 366 is only 36.6%.
Considering that in certain circumstances a low success rate (such as less than 37% in Baseball) can make you the top of your game, you need to put things in perspective.
You may not always succeed with a 37% pass rate but you should now realize that you don’t always need to achieve 100% to be a success.
6. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Self-talk is all well and good but one of the issues with I.S. is that we do not believe our own proof of success.
Confirmation by others can help overcome some of our own negative self-talk.
A few options for building your own support network are:
- Seek out relevant groups (meeting either physically or online) and become active members of those groups.
- Determine which members of your current circle of friends, family, and associates are supportive of your activities and share your successes with them.
- Seek out an accountability partner (ensuring that they have the right supportive attributes) and commit to regular communications.
- Reduce your exposure to negative unsupportive people in your network and increase your exposure to supportive environments.
Once you start seeking out supportive people, you will be surprised at how easily you will find them.
7. Laugh at Yourself
Once you accept that Impostor syndrome is not a rational decision it can help to laugh at yourself.
You are not actually laughing at yourself here but actually laughing at the absurdity of I.S. When you have evidence of your success but can’t accept it, isn’t that absurd?
Some people find this easiest to laugh in front of a mirror (Experiment with or without a mirror and continue with the option you find most comfortable).
Whenever you start to feel an onset of I.S. follow this procedure.
- Stand in front of a mirror.
- Look into your own eyes.
- Force yourself to laugh.
- If you have difficulty forcing laughter just repeat “HO, HO, HO, HEE, HEE, HEE”, a few times. You are in effect practicing laughter yoga at this stage and if the absurdity of I.S. doesn’t make you laugh, this activity should.
Although you might have to try this a couple of times to master this skill, the benefits of laughter are well documented and here it can also serve as a distraction from I.S.
Once laughter comes easier you may not need a mirror. If you find laughter more difficult later on, just the thought of this activity can minimize your feelings of I.S.
Final Thoughts
Impostor Syndrome is based on a negative thought process. We have developed this thought process due to an accumulation of inputs and circumstances in our life.
Replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts may not quash Impostor syndrome for good but it can provide some respite from this issue.
If just one of these simple techniques has been beneficial to you, then continue to use it. Even if none of these techniques is beneficial to you then you have had a learning experience and can try different techniques in the future.
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